honestly, i never thought i’d get this affected by michael jackson’s death. i grew up in the 80’s and was weaned on MTV and music. michael jackson and madonna were part of everybody’s childhood in the 80s. i used to wake up on sunday mornings to watch the one video show on tv, video hit parade. it showed all these western music videos – it was the most fascinating thing on tv. visuals to go with the music, how innovative! i remember every single michael jackson video and my very first cassette was thriller. i got it from the record section of unimart.

i used to get really scared whenever the video of thriller was on. very traumatic for a child to see zombies dance. i also hate the part when michael turns to his date and he turns into a werewolf. i used to also watch re-runs of the jackson 5 cartoons on tv. during the summer time spent in the states, my cousins and i would dress and dance like michael and madonna. i also remember begging my mom to watch Captain EO, MJ’s sci-fii 3D movie shown in disney theme parks in the late 80s. michael jackson was part of the cultural fabric of my generation.

while driving to the gym yesterday, i was listening to jackson 5’s “i’ll be there” and i started to cry. it felt like a part of my youth died with michael jackson. it makes you more aware of your mortality and how fleeting life is. i felt not as invincible as i was when i was 6 years old dancing to billie jean.

what makes the feeling sadder is that everybody knew michael was a tortured soul. he was abused physically, emotionally and mentally. but in his death, his musical genius and legacy are remembered. and that’s the most important thing.

and considering this was just michael jackson. i am warning you guys, if and when something happens to madonna, i will be inconsolable for at least a week. somebody needs to check up on me every hour.